about outfits

since i'm so fucking manly (not too mention my intellectual depth) i am gonna write an entire post about clothes. no, there won't be pictures of the lovely outfits i'll mention. i'll just go straight to them.

outfit 1: heels. that's all you need to know. wore them this saturday, my thighs were sore for two days. fuck you random guy at bus stop who said i was fit, obviously not!

outfit 2: (not on me) grey knitwear with big man's shirt over. lovely, just lovely. especially since i had slept drunk in the shirt for two nights and even in that state felt a bit nasty in it because of the smell due to it being left in the washing machine a few hours too many.

outfit 3: (not on me) yesterday's clothes, from head to toe, from inside out. completed with excellent "just got fucked" - hair and a beanie, plus eyes that would make a drunk diana seem, well, not so drunk diana. oh, and a huge plastic bag over the shoulder. i'd like to label this look "alcoholic hobo 101" and it was worn in the most posh part of chelsea. well worn dear friend, well worn.

outfit 4: (not on me) trainers. what the fuck is wrong with every potentially hot guy who decides that trainers is the fashion statement of the year? it's not. it's ugly, it makes you ugly, i don't like it when you make yourselves ugly. be pretty.

outfit 5: denim with denim. i didn't feel fashion at all, it's a big lie, i felt like i had the imagination of a plastic plant. minus the fact that i had clothes on.

outfit 6: nudity, because it seems to be my number one choice these days.

outfit 7: beer in hair. because it adds volume even to extremely flatt, swedish and blonde hair like mine. trying to ignore that it's long enough to make people think it's the sole survivor of woodstock 69, well, the sole survivor that still looks exactly the same.

outfit 8: (not on me) harry potter glasses and a scar. because harry potter is cool.

outfit 9: (hopefully on me) nonchalance, making people look hotter since forever.

outfit 10: doc martens. nightmare for your sweet feet odor, nightmare when it comes to not being taken as a racist (everyone is still staring deep inside that wellknown box), nightmare when it comes to being accepted in chelsea, but fuck me, i don't care, they still look good.

outfit 11: rape spray and face paint (pink and green). everywhere, anywhere, and as much as possible. gives you that "i've been at an afterparty with seriously disturbed drug dealers" - look in seconds. do it right though, or you'll look like a raver, and that is still not acceptable. glitter inside the sweater is also quite nice, and is quite the same concept.

outfit 12: rape sprayed and face painted formerly red doc martens. because why go red when you can go redgreenpinkrapesprayfacepaint?

i am a fashionista people.