i remember being close

i've got practically no time nowadays, i wake up, try to eat something and have a glass of water, take the coldest fucking shower in the world, rush to the tube, go to work, pour beer after beer after beer and the occasional vodka tonic, mop the floor, rush back to the tube, hurry home in the cold wind and fall asleep. i've been given every single late shift this week meaning i won't have time left for anything but sleep when i get home. got blisters on my feet and old makeup on my skin. been dying for alcohol these last few days, working in a pub with a burning love for beer isn't the greatest idea. especially not since the majority of our customers are older men yearning to buy me a beer. i just want to chuck whatever they want to buy me and act like nothing happened. but no. i'm a good girl. kind of. think i need a few out of control nights.

i do kind of like my new job though, the pub is nice, the people are nice, it's just hectic, getting into it and the working hours and all. sometimes it does however feel kind of nice, being a working girl in london, really fitting in, kind of. i'm really shit at writing right now, can't single out my feelings and impressions, can't get them down on paper, well, sort of. feels a bit surreal, since writing it down has always been my out. i'll update when something exciting happens.