i wasn't supposed to start this blog yet, it's not my time, not yet. i had to warn you though, this blog is, in the words of the gallagher brothers, about cigarettes and alcohol. not that i am particularly fond of oasis, quite the opposite actually, stuck up dickheads in my opinion, didn't do any good after the nineties anyway. that's what too much ego does to one. let's not linger on oasis, i was supposed to introduce myself, or atleast that was the idea. i love it when you hear a song for the xth time and one of the lines suddenly stand out and starts to mean something to you. i love the smell of books. i love hats. i love cats. not the musical, the animal. i love to listen to music on your ipod and have that special song give you some much needed confidence when you walk past people you want to feel superior to. i love dancing when drunk. i love singing. i love the smell after spring rain. i love dark coffee. i love vinyls. i love songs that save our lives. i love red wine and czech beer. i love discussions out of the ordinary. i love london.
the things i hate will become obvious over time, but i'd rather not start an aquaintance by hating. that might scare somebody off. but i do hate when i realize i come of as stupid when i'm drunk.
i am afraid of the dark. i am afraid of being left completely alone. i am afraid that i will never see a meaning to life, just go through it like i do today. i am afraid of horror movies. i am afraid of the feeling i sometimes get when looking up at the sky on really cold nights. i am afraid of being unimportant. i am afraid of endings.
really, how much does a blog tell you about the orator? what you'll read are just fragments of my life, what i choose to share with the world wide web, my self portrait. retouched and edited. it's a narcissistic story, where i choose the me you get to know, it's a one way relation where i pour things out and you read, comprehend and interpret, it's my truth, now tell me yours.
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Jag vet inte om jag borde skriva på engelska eller på svenska, men jag tänker att eftersom bloggen är på engelska och jag borde öva på min engelska innan den försvinner helt så får det bli det.
SvaraRaderaMy 'truth' is as follows:
I love collecting things; books, shoes, quotes, note books. I love making piles of all sorts of things that happen to lie around in my very teenage-y room. I love tea. I love the sound of rain pattering on the tin roof just outside my window. I love stormy weather, because whenever I walk along the Vättern shore and that great mass of water craves/calls for attention I suddenly feel important, and at the same time very much alive (which is hard to achieve when you live in the city of neverending grayness and tedium (jönköping)). I love romanticising just about everything; escape. foreign cities. people. I love making up scenarios in my head that will never happen in real life (I just became a fan of that one on facebook). I love, no I absolutely adore british accents. I love grammar (but I don't like studying it). I love getting drunk, because only then I can let go of my pedantic, perfectionist self and my need for (self)control - I can do things without worrying about what other people will think. I love recieving letters, so I'd love having a penpal (*hint, hint* haha). I love Wes Anderson-films, partly because of the symmetry and the dry humor. I love Patrick Wolf. I love it when I hear a song I love being played somewhere unexpected (the DJ once played Can't Stand Me Now at my favourite bar in town, and I was so happy I didn't know what to do, more than scream out the lyrics like a complete maniac). And, I love London.
I'm also afraid of horror movies. I'm afraid of screwing up. I'm afraid of failing. I'm afraid of being stuck here in this godforsaken city in the middle of Sweden, when all I ever dream about is being out there, somewhere else, somewhere where the people are alive.
I'm at my final year at 'gymnasiet' right now, and the only thing keeping me alive is the thought of being able to move to London as soon as I've graduated and saved up enough money.
Anyway, I like your blog. And now that I've introduced myself you might (hopefully) remember me should I feel like leaving another comment in here.
Camilla.